Three million UK homes are “web-stupid”

About 15 percent of households in Britain don’t even know how to use the internet, research shows.

In January, communications minister Lord Carter said the government intended to ensure that people started bloody well using broadband internet whether they liked it or not by 2012 to make Britain appear more competitive and thus drag it out of recession.

Preliminary research by IT performance website IKnowMoreThanYou on behalf of the BBC found that as many three million homes had internet connectivity under 2 Mb and were therefore idiots. A spokesperson for the company said “Some are people are soooo stupid – I bet they don’t even know what ADSL stands for. Unh! I bet those people in the country have never even HEARD of an Ethernet port, let alone know what a WiFi N-Lite Cable Router is….unnnnhhhhhh!!!”

IKnowMoreThanYou has produced a map highlighting “NoGo” areas where there is slow connection or no broadband availability, to alert the rest of the sensible broadband-using population to the areas they can make fun of.

It shows they are not limited to rural areas but are spread across the whole country – though they are mostly rural areas, where people call computers “confusers” and electricity “electrickery”.

“Whilst in its current form this map should only be used as a guide, it does demonstrate the extent of how many stupid people there are in the country that haven’t even got broadband,” IKnowMoreThanYou said.

“Even with this superficial research, we can see the enormity of the amount of fibre-optic cabling needed to get British households up to the same level of intelligence as plankton.”

 

[27/05/2009]

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