Demolish crucifix, Sir Cliff told

Sir Cliff Richard has been ordered to knock down a 30 foot crucifix which he has recently had erected in his garden after his local council decided it was too big and built without permission on a Green Belt site.

The refusal of Runnymede Borough Council to grant retrospective planning permission for the crucifix has now forced the 68-year-old singer into an intriguing moral dilemma: Would destroying the crucifix be considered an act of blasphemy, or would destroying the contraption on which Christ was cruelly murdered actually be interpreted as an act of love?

Sir Cliff must now, as Jesus once did, make a sacrifice for the good of all mankind by demolishing the crucifix outside his home in Surrey, which was only erected three years ago.

The council said that the giant cross represented a “disproportionate addition” to the original building and was considered to be a “harmful development, not in keeping with the surrounding area.”

A local resident, Peter Ian, said today: “He’s been trying to force that bloody crucifix idea through for years. When the planning application originally went forward 4 years ago everyone in the village objected immediately. Eventually it all went quiet for a few months and everyone thought that was the end of it, but then one afternoon I came back from golf and there was this god-awful racket coming from down the road. He’d only gone and erected the thing regardless, then put in for retrospective planning. Not exactly love-thy-neighbour, is it?”

Sir Cliff was at the Wimbledon tennis championships on Wednesday and was therefore unavailable for comment.

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