British rock fan misses pop concert due to Swine Flu

A young British woman who was looking forward to attending a Serbian rock music festival has had her hopes dashed of seeing her favourite pop groups such as Arctic Monkey and disc jockey Eric Pryd (who plays dance music records) after contracting the swine flu virus, health authorities announced yesterday.

“One of the newly registered cases is a young citizen of Great Britain, a visitor for the so-called EXIT popular rock music festival,” confirmed a spokesman for the Public Health Institute, Dr. Peter Ian, “Rock and pop music festivals provide an ideal incubus for diseases such as swine influenza because people attending these festivals are generally quite unclean and promiscuous. Also, Serbia is hot at this time of year and the high temperatures tend to allow the bacteria necessary to cause swine flu to germinate and spread prolifically.” he added.

The EXIT music festival is an annual festival of popular music and is usually staged over the course of four days in the city of Novi Sad, which lies in the northern part of Serbia. This year’s line-up features performances by pop stars such as Lilly Allan and DJ Carl “Doctor” Fox, neither of which are thought to have been affected by the deadly superbug.

The identity of the British swine flu victim has not yet been revealed, and it is thought there are now around 30-40 cases of victims of the so-called “A(H1N1)” strain in Serbia alone, including several athletes from Argentina, Australia and Uganda who attended the Belgrade Student Olympics.

Experts have advised festival fans to stay away from the site and to enjoy the pop music bands in other ways, such as playing their rock on a CD (compact disc) or on an audio streaming device using headphones.

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