UFO sighting increase ‘exciting’ for scientists

The recent increase in the reported sightings of UFOs (Unidentified Flying Objects) has excited leading scientists at the Institute Of Ufology, providing them with a more robust and convincing body of proof of the existence of Extra Terrestrials.

A spokesman for the Institute, Dr. Peter Ian, said yesterday: “The fact that there have been more sightings of these phenomena must surely mean something. What it means to us is that there is now the very real possibility that we are not alone in this universe and that extra terrestrial beings now surely exist.

“If more people report seeing unusual objects in the sky, then there has to be a reason for this. And that reason is because the extra terrestrials are scaling up their level of communication with our planet. We already know that there are other forms of life in the universe because the universe is infinite and therefore no-one can definitively prove the non-existence of life on other planets somewhere in space. Knowing this, together with our knowledge of all witness accounts being genuine and testified, the only possible explanation of these sightings is that they are alien communication of some kind. It is now up to us to determine the nature of this communication.”

Dr. Ian, who completed his doctorate via a correspondence course run by the Institute, was recently interviewed on BBC local radio about one particular alien visitation he witnessed himself. Over a mildly patronising musical background of the X-Files theme tune, added afterwards in the edit suite, he recalled: “I was up late one night watching TV in the living room and suddenly there was a noise in the back lane behind the garden and some bright lights shot past. The noise then faded and the lights disappeared. Although the noise sounded a lot like that of an engine, it couldn’t possibly have been a car because hardly anyone has used that lane for years. Knowing by this point that it definitely wasn’t a car, I was intrigued to find out what had actually happened. When I got to the lane there were two parallel patterned markings, like zig-zags, in the patch of mud outside the back gate. This suggested that the craft may have landed in a similar way to a helicopter and that the flash of light may have been from an advanced extra terrestrial 360-degree on-board camera of some kind. It must have been some ship, mind. It was completely gone by the time I got outside.”

The Institute is however wary of reports of sightings which are exaggerated, or in some cases completely made up: “You can tell these stories fairly easily as they just don’t add up. For instance there was one report of a farmer who reported crop circles in one of his fields – that’s all well and good, but you can’t rule out the possibility that someone got in there and trampled down parts of the corn whilst he was asleep. We always ensure our witness accounts stand up to scrutiny – we ask them outright if there could be any other explanation for what occurred and when they go over the details of the story again it becomes clear that there definitely isn’t. After that we get them to sign a declaration of authenticity to confirm for definite that their account is true to the best of their knowledge. Only after this can it go towards our increasing library of evidence supporting the undeniable fact that extra terrestrial life forms have indeed visited our planet.”, Dr. Ian concluded.

The extra terrestrial community declined to comment.

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