Martin Milner – football expert

Over-reacts by 100%

The Community Shield final was a bloody disgrace. Someone should teach Michael Ballack the true values of the game of football. Good, British football. You might prance around falling all over the place or committing blatant fouls back in Germany, but over here we do things differently. We have something called the British sense of fair play, an unwritten code that all good Premier League footballers adhere to. In this country football is about gentlemanly conduct, fairness, honesty, pride, possession, passing, movement, channels, vision, ballwork, skill, pace, basics, passion, hunger, knowledge, belief, aptitude, toughness, running, application, discipline, stamina, space, attitude, selflessness, heart, fortitude…

Just remember who won the war.

So, Tony Mowbray think Celtic have what it takes to beat Arsenal? If Celtic were in the English leagues they’d be in the top half of the Championship at best. To play the likes of a great football club such as Arsenal is a privilege and he’d do well to remember that. He’s living in the cocoon of Scottish football where beating teams like Aberdeen, Motherwell and Dundee week in, week out is a regular occurrence. No wonder they win the SPL most of the time.

The SPL is a soft league and teams like Celtic and Rangers would experience a massive culture shock if they were to turn up in our beloved Premiership. They wouldn’t last five minutes against the likes of Man United, Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea, Villa and Spurs. They would finish bottom by a big margin and would go back across the border with their tails between their legs.

Mowbray thinks he’s some kind of hotshot. Any idiot could do his job. He’d do well to remember the fans that pay good money to see his club every week. When they lose to Arsenal – which they will – those fans will demand some answers.

And Mowbray’s head will roll right back down the M74.

Roy Keane is spot-on taking Ipswich on pre-season training at Colchester army barracks. I’ve always approved of his tough approach to the game. His attitude is the best in the country and a fine example to all youngsters in the game. The rigours of army training will sort the men from the boys and sharpen up his squad for the season ahead. Aggressive physical contact and hard knocks are all part of the game and I have no sympathy when players get hurt.

Football is just like war and you need your best soldiers to be at the top of their game at all times. You don’t need a bunch of namby-pambies in the ranks when you’re in the heat of battle. You need good, strong British generals who can occupy space whilst pushing forward. Keane was like this as a player and is now passing these qualities on to his squad. Proper toughness is a vital part of good football, together with a never-say-die attitude.

Anyone who disagrees with this should be lined up and shot.


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