Brown ‘can overcome tears’ to win election

Gordon Brown has insisted he is able to compete and possibly even win the next general election despite a recent diagnosis revealing two tears in his eyes.

The tears are said to have appeared in the Prime Minister’s eyes over the last few months and are thought to be stress-related.

He told GMTV: “I went to see my doctors and they did indeed look at my eyes, but I must stress it was purely a routine check-up. They found two very small tears in my eyes upon preliminary inspection so they decided to conduct a secondary examination. Once they looked in more detail they managed to trace the tracks of those tears, but said not to worry and that the tears would disappear over time.”

Asked if he was looking for a way out of leading the Labour Party into the General Election, Mr. Brown said: “Absolutely no way. Listen, I’ve had tears in my eyes before and I’ve come back stronger each time. Even as far back as primary school I had tears in my eyes due to the stress of losing my plimsoles and having to sit out of games, but the very next day they had completely disappeared.

“And only a year ago I had at least 8 or 9 tears in BOTH eyes at once when I was forced to recall an out-of-form Peter Mandelson to bolster the front bench line-up. I never liked him that much and he always caused me a load of problems. The stress of having to swallow so much pride caused several tears – but again, they healed after a couple of days and I’m all the stronger for it. The important thing is that I can see through these tears and focus fully on achieving my goal of a hung parliament next May – otherwise, there may be a few more tears.”

Mr. Brown is understood to have been prescribed a box of tissues and ordered to rest as much as possible until next May.

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