Underground pool rejection a splash in the face for Cheryl Cole

Singer Cheryl Cole and her footballer husband Ashley have had plans for a giant underground swimming pool unanimously rejected by their local planning office due to its “ostentatious stupidity”.

A spokesperson for the couple revealed: “They’re both extremely disappointed with the decision and are seeking to re-submit their application as soon as possible. It has long been their dream to have a pool in their garden which extends underneath their entire mansion, but apparently the powers-that-be are more concerned with the fact that pool users are unable to surface when swimming under the house than with Cheryl and Ashley’s right to privacy.”

Despite their preliminary plans including a two-foot ‘blowhole’ in the middle of the living room, the council maintained that it would be unsafe to allow such a development and rejected the plans on that basis. It also highlighted the potential risk of subsidence from disturbing the foundations of the mansion.

A council spokesman said of the plans: “We’d never seen anything like them. They weren’t in scale whatsoever and they looked as though they had been drawn up on a whim. It didn’t seem to occur to them that people would be unable to hold their breath long enough to get to the blowhole, let alone be able to find the thing. Plus the idea of a glass floor was one of ostentatious stupidity. The whole thing was embarrassingly flawed throughout, so we had no choice but to reject it out of hand.”

The couple have since embarked on a new application which will involve converting their existing loft space to create a full size swimming pool with a sauna and jacuzzi. This more sensible idea will allow breathing space above the water, which the couple hope will address the main issue behind the rejection of their previous application.

They have also planned for the addition of skylights – a shrewd move which will allow much-needed daylight around the poolside, whilst at the same time ensuring their home remains “in keeping” with the surrounding area. The idea of converting the loft was a joint decision and will also solve the problem of potential subsidence which would have been a danger had the original plans been approved.

The couple were yesterday said to be “hopeful” the revised plans would receive the all-clear.

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