Public to ‘Make Good’ on crime


A new government website is set to allow the public to decide the fate of young offenders, it has been revealed today.

The Making Good scheme will allow members of the public to vote anonymously online in order to decide democratically on suitable punishments for crime and antisocial behaviour.

Justice Secretary Jack Straw said yesterday: “This scheme will not only help in reducing crime across the country, but it will also allow users a cloak of anonymity which affords them a freedom of honesty they wouldn’t normally get for fear of repercussion. I’m a big fan of anonymous internet message boards myself, as they provide a fascinating true insight into the national psyche. Honestly, some of the stuff I’ve seen in the comments sections on youtube is crazy. I didn’t know anyone still had those sorts of opinions – not young people, anyway.”

Site designer Peter Ian is already concerned at some of the public’s feedback: “We set up the site last week and we added a few general options, such as clearing litter, charity work, repairing vandalism and cleaning graffiti. We knew we hadn’t covered every base, so we built in the option whereby a user could create new categories of their own.

“I went on there again yesterday to check things over and several new options had sprung up, including ‘Bring Back The Rope’, ‘Restore Corporal Punishment In Schools’, ‘Force Them To Have A Vasectomy’, ‘Flog Them In Public’, ‘Line Them Up And Shoot Them’ and ‘Send Them All Back’. We were shocked. Only a very small number had voted on the existing options, with just under 90% opting for some form of capital punishment. And this was in response to a hypothetical situation where a youth had broken into a car to steal a wallet left on the passenger seat. I don’t know where the racism one came from, either. We didn’t even mention the perpetrator’s ethnicity in the example. We may end up taking the site down, or at least limiting the options somewhat, though I honestly don’t think the public are ready for this sort of thing yet – I’d maybe give it another 100 years…”


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