Man Undercover: Tim Minns smuggles dangerous pen on board Dutch aircraft

An Al-Qaeda could easily do this


Undercover reporter Tim Minns has proven just how easy it is for terrorists to smuggle potentially dangerous items on to a commercial flight, by smuggling a potentially dangerous item on to a commercial flight.

Minns passed through Schiphol Airport (nicknamed “Schit-hol” by locals) carrying a retractable biro and boarded a jet bound for London just FIVE DAYS after the Christmas Day terror attack on another flight from the SAME airport.

“It could easily have been used as a makeshift stabbing device – or worse – it could have contained dangerous substances such as Zyclon-B or nitroglycerine for all anyone knew,” said Minns yesterday. “I know better than anyone about the need for stringent security measures at airports and in this instance they were sorely lacking. Even in the wake of the Detroit attack Schiphol appear not to have implemented any additional security measures, such as precautionary pat-down searches, which would have easily located the pen in my jacket pocket. The fact they didn’t even bother with such a simple procedure is very worrying indeed.”


Mightier than the sword: This could be dangerous if shoved into a neck


Although in this instance the pen carried by Minns was harmless, in the wrong hands – such as those of a trained Al-Qaeda operative – it could easily be used as a deadly weapon for stabbing on-board crew members, or for writing detailed terror plans in arabic or some other equally deadly language. The other potential danger with pens is that – especially in the case of the simple biro – the outer shell can be ground into a powder which can, in theory, be thrown into the face of a pilot by a crazed Islamic fundamentalist.

Had Mr. Minns been challenged or questioned at any point, being a responsible journalist he would have immediately revealed that he enjoyed crosswords and produced a newspaper to support this. However, Mr. Minns was never apprehended at any time during the check-in procedure and had easily managed to graffiti two lavatory cubicles by the time he boarded. Fortunately, Minns’ graffiti consisted of nothing more than light swearing on this occasion, although the obvious fear is that a Taliban soldier COULD HAVE used this particular medium to plan terrorist attacks IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE.

“Clearly Schiphol has some questions to answer here,” declared Minns last night. “We cannot stop pen users from travelling but equally these items have to be able to be detected because a terrorist could get through security with them. I know better than anyone the damage a pen can do to human flesh and over five years ago I actually called for the use of body and internal scanners in ALL airports as a matter of urgency. This would help especially for the detection of any writing implements hidden inside jacket pockets.

“Technology is not the only answer. We need good intelligence and proper profiling combined with sophisticated scanning. At the moment this clearly isn’t happening. It shouldn’t take a reporter to highlight these security flaws – these measures should be in place already.”


We get the point: Minns with pen outside Schiphol Airport


Items such as pens, which are designated as sharp objects, should not be taken on board unless the passenger can prove he or she needs them for crosswords, or at the very least a Sudoku puzzle. Pens are often provided on board specifically for this purpose, although many are of inferior quality prompting a number of passengers to carry their own.

If not declared, security staff are expected to find them and then demand that the passenger tells the truth about their intended use. Staff are then expected to pick up on micro-signals to determine whether the passenger is lying or not.

The pen which Mr. Minns was carrying could have contained a number of EXPLOSIVE agents in its cartridge, but luckily didn’t. These explosive agents could then have been combined with another theoretical substance, which in theory could possibly have set light to a theoretical pair of trousers in a similar way to those of Detroit bomber Umar Abdulmutallab. This may appear highly unlikely given the circumstances described in this particular investigation, but that doesn’t mean it cannot happen – and for that reason many passengers should be SCARED.

To reiterate the point yet again, Mr. Minns was stunned at how easy it was to breach Schiphol security as he retraced Abdulmutallab’s footsteps last Wednesday COMPLETELY UNNOTICED. “No-one even saw the pen or bothered to ask me about it. I even left the top part of it protruding from my pocket to make it as obvious as I could, but nobody there was even remotely suspicious.”

Minns simply walked through unchallenged.

It is important to make clear that at no point did Tim Minns or his travelling companion attempt to evade security or break the law.


2 Responses to “Man Undercover: Tim Minns smuggles dangerous pen on board Dutch aircraft”

  1. dleighmiad Says:

    Mr. Minns, is that a jumbo Biro in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

  2. falsenews Says:

    I think it’s fair to say that Tim Minns’ pen is terrifying to no-one…

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