Vernon Kay ‘embarased’ over bad spelling

Vernon Kay has apologised publicly over a series of badly-written text messages sent to a number of his fans throughout the last three months.

Kay branded himself “a complete numpty” with the “spelling age of a five-year-old” after sending over 1000 text messages which made little or no sense whatsoever to around five different women.

The white-teethed TV presenter said he had “let down” his wife and two young daughters over his appalling grasp of predictive texting, which resulted in him sending messages from his mobile phone such as “let of lips your danny” and “im thinking me your thu?”

Other messages included “sew is on my mine all day long”, “ive got a stiff?, foot tell Terr”, “im horny as shiv sight now”, “i want to give you a sight home seeing 2”, “you’re a real home looker”, “i cant stop thinking he u”, “im holding my erect dial in my game sight now”, “i bet your aunt is yet sight now”, “meet of sound the back me radio 1 for a quick rich after i finish at 1pm Saturday” and “just finished filmin t4 on da beach n im feeling sandy – wanna honk up?”

One woman, who cannot be named, revealed: “I met Vernon at a party last year and he seemed really nice and we swapped phone numbers at the end of the night. At first his messages were quite sensible, but after a couple of months they became completely bizarre. He kept going on about chasing someone called ‘Danny’ and referring to my aunt all the time. I don’t even have an aunt, so I’m not entirely sure who he thought I was.”

Media scum Peter Ian said yesterday: “The T9 predictive text dictionary does take a bit of getting used to and often involves the user needing to push the bottom-left button to get the correct word. In some cases it requires the user to enter the word manually before storing it for future use and can often prove trickier when using a touchscreen phone, or when the user is intoxicated in some way.

“With that said, I think Vernon has been remarkably stupid and has a lot of apologising to do. I would suggest he does this face-to-face, as he could end up writing something like ‘im really poppy Terr and hue learnt my lesson, luv u xxx’ which may worsen the situation somewhat.”


One Response to “Vernon Kay ‘embarased’ over bad spelling”

  1. Links 11/2/10 « Enemies of Reason Says:

    […] Newsbag – Vernon Kay 'embarased' over bad spelling. Poor the Vernon. It's another one of those tawdry tabloid tales that informs us of nothing at all of any benefit to our lives, but this spoof made me laugh. […]

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