ITV cleared to sell Friends Reunited for bargain price

ITV have today been cleared to sell off its social networking site Friends Reunited, ending several months of speculation.

Problems have arisen surrounding the potential sale of the site, after several imposters claiming they were from the station posted advertisements in the classified sections of local newspapers across the country, causing misery for tens of members of the public.

One potential customer, let’s call him…hmm, I don’t know, Peter Ian? Yeah, that sounds good. Anyway, Peter Ian yesterday revealed: “I’d been after Friends Reunited for a while and couldn’t believe my eyes when it came up for sale in the paper a few weeks ago. I thought the asking price of £35 was a bit steep, but then again you expect that, don’t you? My plan was to get him down to £30, which I thought was a fairer price for it, given that it’s not as popular as it used to be.

“So I rung this chap and agreed to meet in the local B&Q car park, which, looking back on it now seemed a bit suspicious. But at the time it didn’t register amongst the excitement, although my wife did warn me to be careful, due to the advert only carrying the guy’s mobile number. In hindsight, I should have twigged the whole thing was a con, especially when he pulled up in a small van half an hour late. He reckoned he’d been held up in a meeting with the commissioning editor, but he was wearing a lumberjack shirt and a filthy-looking pair of jeans. When I challenged him on this he said he had changed clothes in the ITV toilets, as he didn’t like to get his suit dirty in the van. He also proved he was genuine by showing me a text from Michael Grade on his phone giving him the all-clear to sell the Friends Reunited site.”

The man, known only as “Jimmy”, then proceeded to show Mr. Ian the website on a laptop he had brought along with him, explaining in detail the site’s functionalities and allowing Mr. Ian to test it by building his own profile. “It all looked fairly legit by this point,” said Mr. Ian, “and once he showed me all the extra features I could get as a fully-registered ‘owner’ of the website, I was sold, and handed over the full £35. I did try and get him down to £30 but he was insistent that it was good value for the price, especially since ITV had acquisitioned it for £170 million just five years ago. As he was walking back to the van I asked him how I could tell if I was the owner of the site, and he replied that it would let me make any changes once I was logged in. It was only once I got back home that I realised I’d been had, and that he had merely given me a straightforward free user account which he now had the password to. I was gutted.”

ITV stressed it had “no involvement” in any of these scams and that a website of the calibre of Friends Reunited would never be sold through a local newspaper for £35. “This would simply never happen,” revealed a spokesperson for the channel. “We have only today been given clearance to sell the site and would expect at least £150-200 for it.”

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