The West Briton

The West’s Best Read

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

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Mini-Roundabout Fury

St. Day resident George Screase was left fuming after recent plans were revealed for the construction of a mini-roundabout outside his house. Screase, 56, who has lived in the area for 56 years, said yesterday: “It’s outrageous. There’s hardly ever been any traffic around here, and any traffic violations normally stem from people parking too near to the junction, preventing me from seeing into the kitchen of the house opposite and causing a danger to vehicles pulling out on to the main road. They should be doing something about that, although they probably won’t, knowing them. Too busy lining their own pockets to worry about the rest of us, I should imagine.

“There’s no need to have any such thing in this village and, if nothing else, it’ll cause a massive eyesore to those of us who have to live here. Plus there’s a danger it would encourage gypsies and immigrants to come through the village.”

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Reader Offer! 5p off a packet of Walkers Crisps!

The West Briton is proud to announce an exclusive reader offer on all flavours of Walkers crisps (excludes salt and vinegar, cheese and onion, prawn cocktail, beef, ready salted and Worcester sauce) – but hurry, this promotion only lasts until this evening, so you’ll need to be quick!

Simply cut out this token and present it to your local newsagent when buying a bag of Walkers crisps. You will need to write your address on the back of this coupon in order to “unlock” this promotion. Offer is restricted to a one-reader-one-bag-of-crisps basis.

Happy crisping!

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Traffic News

Motorists travelling on the B3303 this weekend are warned of the likelihood of foreigners and are advised to take extra care in avoiding oncoming traffic when dropping into 2nd gear to overtake them.

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A horse has shed its load across the B3297 towards Four Lanes. Motorists are advised to approach with caution and test their brakes after driving through, and to keep their windows closed until a safe distance away.

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Drivers in Praze-an-Beeble are warned of the possibility of gypsies over the next 2-3 weeks and are advised only to journey if absolutely necessary.

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Cark Park Cruise

McDonalds in Pool are holding a weekly “Car Park Cruise” aimed at youngsters aged between 17 and 18 who drive Peugeots with tinted windows. Participants are encouraged to arrive in as low a gear as possible and to share their music with everyone by turning up their car stereo and opening their windows.

The purchase of food items is not compulsory – however, McDonalds have stipulated that any refuse from food and drink purchased from the outlet can be left on the ground as convenient.

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Anger At Traffic Lights

Local motorists have expressed outrage at a set of traffic lights recently constructed in Pool, after they became stuck on red for over a minute, causing tailbacks over 5 cars long on Thursday 25th February. Driver Perran Uthnoe said yesterday: “It was ridiculous. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. And the worst thing was, right, once they’d changed, the lane markings were so unclear that only 3 cars ended up getting past the lights before they changed back again. I was seething.”

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Sport

Cornish Pirates suffered a 6-28 home defeat at the hands of the unfancied Solihull Marks & Spencers B team. Starting the game as firm favourites, the Pirates threw away their home advantage by conceding 3 tries in a sloppy opening 20 minutes, which saw SM&S B’s Mark Peters capitalise on some shoddy defending from the home side to score twice. Daniel Smith then added to Pirates’ woes by scoring the third, before the home side finally found their feet, coming back to finish the first half within reach of their opponents at just 3-13 behind.

The second half started quietly until SM&S B burst into life once again, as Smith and Peters scored a brace apiece to put the visitors firmly in command, and within sight of their first league win since turning professional just over 3 seasons ago. Fred Titze compounded the home side’s misery by scoring another, before a late consolation penalty gave the Pirates something to take away from an otherwise dreadful game.

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After a scintillating 15 days and 11 hours, Matt Pockton finally beat rival Tony Timms in the SW Angling Championships after catching a 5lb tench, dashing Timms’ hopes of fishing silverware for the 3rd consecutive season. Pockton, 48, put his success down to “commitment, patience and timing,” whilst opponent Timms was gracious in defeat, saying: “The better rod won at the end of the day, simple as that.”

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In the West Cornwall Skiffles League, Gulval thrower Gail Qite (pron. “cheet”) managed a clearance on the last “lob” of her “cheese”, ensuring victory in a tightly fought contest over her nemesis Sandra Tersch at the Red Lion pub in St. Just. Tersch scored consistently throughout the evening and the pair were neck-and-neck going into the final “throwdown”, before Qite prevailed in the last leg. Qite was last night said to be “breathless, but overjoyed” after a “tiring and emotional” evening.

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