Brown: “Nothing decided yet”

The Prime Minister has today declared that the public “may be surprised” with the date of the upcoming General Election, telling reporters that “nothing has been set in stone as of yet”.

Mr. Brown insisted that today’s trip to Buckingham Palace “has no relevance whatsoever” with regard to a potential date for the election, saying: “Just because I’m visiting the Queen exactly one month before May 6th does not necessarily mean I will call the election on that date. It just so happens that I’m going to be around that area today and that the Queen needs help moving a few boxes – that’s the only reason I’m going to the palace. I’m sure the conversation will inevitably turn towards the election, but since I haven’t decided that yet, I’ll probably just politely change the subject.”

Despite widespread speculation that the Prime Minister will formally meet with the Queen for around 20 minutes, during which he will ask for the dissolution of parliament and thereby officially kick-start the election campaign, Mr. Brown told waiting reporters: “I hate how you lot think you all know me. You don’t know me. You don’t know me at all. You just think you do. Well I’ll tell you something – what if I’m not going to the Queen’s? What if I just SAID that in order to waste your time? What would you do then? Yeah, see, not so clever now, are you?

“OK, so I AM going to Buckingham Palace, but as I said earlier I’m only going to be moving a few items here and there. I’ll probably have a cup of tea for a few minutes after and the Queen might well show me some of her art, but other than that … nothing doing … apart from that I might discuss the possibility of the country going to the polls on May 6th. But then again, I might not – you’ll just have to wait and see. You’d feel stupid, wouldn’t you, if you were all waiting here outside Downing Street in the pissing rain, only for me to come back some time this evening without having set a date yet. Wasted journey or what? I mean, why does it have to be on a Thursday anyway? What’s that all about? Maybe I might shake shit up a bit and call it for Sunday 9th – you just don’t know what I’m going to do…”

The election is expected to be announced later today as taking place on Thursday 6th May.


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