Story confirms how photo confirms Winehouse-Fielder-Civil reunion – official

The opening paragraph set the scene by reiterating Amy Winehouse’s father’s obvious disapproval of his son-in-law, together with his dread of the recently estranged couple getting back together.

But as the couple stepped out in public yesterday for the first time, the paragraph bore much greater meaning than could possibly have ever been imagined before. Indeed the second paragraph served only to underline this further by describing how the couple were pictured holding hands – a defiant move which will only serve to anger Mitchell Winehouse even further, especially when unnecessarily highlighted several times throughout the story.

Revolving entirely around speculation based on one photograph that the couple are now reunited, the entertainment feature continued by obtaining a supporting quote from a member of the public with only slightly less knowledge of the situation than its writer: “Looking at them together, it’s clear to see they’re still very much in love,” said made-up quote-monger Peter Ian yesterday. “Although the long-range shot taken in a car park is grainy at best, you can clearly see in their eyes how much they mean to one another. I think they’re ultimately made for each other, and, although it’s too early to say for definite, this time looks as if they’re back together for good.

“One thing’s for certain, though – Mitch isn’t going to be very happy at all, especially once he reads this quote. In fact, knowing him as I don’t, he’ll be absolutely livid – especially now I’ve mentioned it again. I mean, he’s probably quite a proud man and a typical father, in that no man’s ever going to be good enough for his precious daughter. But that Blake – what a messed-up character. Mitch can’t be happy that his daughter is still with that waster, especially now I’ve gone and mentioned it again. He must be well wound-up by now, particularly now I’ve fanned the flames yet again. I tell you, I wouldn’t want to be in either of their shoes right now…”

The story concluded by deliberately getting Blake Civil-Fielder’s name wrong, before summing up with an alarmingly awful pun loosely disguised as yet another dig at the singer’s father. And although things look happy enough now, this is one Civil partnership that’s sure to leave Mitch Wine-ing.

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