New iPhone prototype found on top of cistern in pub toilet

A prototype for the upcoming 4th generation iPhone has been found in the toilet of a pub just outside of London by one of its unsuspecting regular drinkers.

Unemployed odd-job man Peter Ian, who visits the unnamed Kingston pub every weekday from 11am, was initially sceptical of his discovery, until further exploration of the mystery device yielded a wealth of new features set to take the world of smart phones by storm.

When interviewed, Mr. Ian yesterday revealed: “If what I found on top of the bog last night is anything to go by, then this is a must-have for iPhone fans. It was all fully-working and it looked as sleek as anything – I could tell it was legit, as it had the Apple symbol on the back cover and everything. Honestly, you’ve never seen anything like it – it had a full-colour screen, a camera, the lot. I would have brought it with me today, only it’s at my mate’s house at the minute, and he’s out working. Otherwise, I could have shown you. Honestly, it was the dog’s, mate – you could play music on it, films, all sorts.”

When asked if the new unit carried an on-board flash with its camera, Mr. Ian replied: “Yeah, the camera’s flash all right. The pictures looked amazing. Didn’t actually use the camera, mind, but it had a lens on the back which looked the business, mate. And the finish is plush – it’s like a Porsche’s bonnet, mate, you wouldn’t believe it. You could fry an egg on it, seriously.”

Upon being quizzed over the new model’s much-vaunted 4G capability, Mr. Ian responded: “It’s definitely got that as well. You can tell, see, ‘cos on the back it’s got four Gs, so you know it’s the real deal. Plenty of Gs, mate, that’s what it’s all about at the end of the day. The more Gs, the better. To be honest with you, I’m not really bothered about technological stuff. I could sell it to you if you want.”

When asked how much for, Mr. Ian replied: “Well look, ‘cos it’s a prototype, I’ll let you have it for £30, but only if I have the money upfront – literally, my mate won’t let me have it otherwise, and I’m borassic at the moment. Cheers, bud. Listen, come back here and meet me in the car park around 8ish and I’ll bring it to you then. It probably won’t be me, if I’m honest with you, it’ll most likely be my mate – don’t worry, everyone knows him round here. Just ask for him at the bar if he’s not around – you can’t miss him, he’s got brown hair and wears a puffer jacket. He’s alright – bit of a knob, though. Yeah, yeah, I’m just going home for a bit first, but I’ll definitely get him to get it for you when I wake up…”


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