Sensible people continue as normal after mildly amusing Brown gaffe

Sensible people have today continued their lives entirely as normal after the Prime Minister amusingly slipped up towards the end of an arduous Labour campaign trail by branding a bigoted pensioner “bigoted”.

Unfortunately, whilst right-thinking, intelligent members of the public continue diligently about their usual business, the British media is still reeling from Mr. Brown’s sensational outburst – with many expected to continue taking the story out of proportion right up until polling day.

A reporter for the Sun newspaper – which recently apologised after famously accusing Liverpool fans involved in the Hillsborough disaster of stealing wallets from and urinating over dead bodies – said this morning: “It’s outrageous. How Mr. Brown thinks he can get away with calling this poor woman a bigot is absolutely disgusting. He may well have apologised, but does that REALLY warrant forgiveness? In my eyes it doesn’t, and I, for one, feel sick to the anus. I spoke to Gillian [Duffy, the pensioner involved in the incident] earlier on and she was in tears – especially after I reiterated the Prime Minister’s outburst for the eighteenth time.

“I discussed with her the possibility that, whilst he SAID she was a “bigot” behind her back, he could have been THINKING a whole lot worse. For instance, he could have been thinking she looked like an old lesbian or that she had a face like a piece of run-over gammon. Or he could have been thinking she was just another sink-estate scum trying to waste his time. Eventually, after seven hours I left, as she was obviously still extremely distressed by all of this – and who wouldn’t be? Mind you, she still didn’t want to vote for Cameron, though, the manky old bitch.”

The Daily Mail – who once championed fascism – were also outraged, with one source revealing: “Gordon Brown has been shown up as a hypocrite, who secretly despises the people he claims to represent. A lot of us here are stunned by this, as it’s a concept so far removed from the principals of our newspaper. It’s just not something we recognise.

“We would have also sent a reporter round to comfort the stricken Mrs. Duffy, but thought it best not to, since the area looked a bit dodgy – you know, with all hoodies, single-parent families and burnt-out cars hanging around. Disgusting.”

Sensible people are expected to cast their votes next Thursday, using the policies listed in each party’s manifesto to help them reach an informed decision on who they feel is best-equipped to govern the country.


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